Stop trying to please everybody

Photo by Ayo Ogunseinde on Unsplash

I’ve always struggled with saying ‘No’… Requests are like my kryptonite. Someone wants something done? I’m your guy. But I’m learning now that it is not the way to live. Saying No preserves your energy and keeps you from burning out and most essentially, it shows you love and have compassion yourself.

Here are a few things I learned from Kate Maree O’Brien on her thoughts on ‘How To Stop Worrying About Pleasing Others’ from 7 Good Minutes (one of my favorite podcasts)

1. Understand the cost of always saying ‘Yes’; Think of how it affects your energy, vitality, and time. Also, think about how this impacts people around you. Think about how your task-grabbing prevents them from opportunities to know themselves and get better.
2. Practice saying ‘No’; Make an intentional decision to decline some tasks or requests by delegating or outright refusing. Set a ‘No’-target for yourself. Practice communicating assertively and be clear about your boundaries and needs.
3. Be aware of your well-being; Make sure to take time for yourself and focus on your own well-being, even if it means doing something others may not approve of. Try to figure out why you are so afraid to disappoint other people and why trying to please them is a priority.

Ultimately, O’Brien’s article is about learning to let go of the need for approval from others and focus on self-compassion and growth.